While estate planning and passing on wealth to the next generation (in a tax-efficient manner) is a standard conversation for affluent clients, a recent book by Tom McCullough and Keith Whitaker entitled “Wealth of Wisdom: The Top 50 Questions Wealthy Families Ask” highlights that for many families, figuring out how to pass on their family values is equally or more important than “just” passing on their wealth alone.
Accordingly, five key lessons for “values transmission” within the family include:
1) Values are caught, not taught (meaning that actions speak louder than words, and the best way for families to communicate values to their children is by living and doing them, not just saying them… although establishing a family mission statement or family values statement may still help the family to at least crystallize its thinking of the values to express in the first place);
2) Values are different from beliefs, preferences, and choices (in essence, “values are the compass that each of us uses to direct our behavior, often unconsciously” and serve as the organizing principles of our lives, such that Christianity or Judaism are preferences or choices while “spirituality” would be the unifying value, or environmental conservation or the arts are preferences while “generosity” is a value);
3) Leading a life that is consistent with your values is the greatest predictor of happiness (as it’s the congruence between life and values that drive happiness and satisfaction, while misalignment between the two leads to frustration and stress, though the demands of growing and maintaining wealth can often challenge affluent families to stay in congruence, and teenagers will have a natural tendency to challenge their parents’ values are part of their own development);
4) Storytelling is a powerful means of sharing values (as telling stories is a way to express your own life’s work, in the context of what’s most important to you, and what your values are); and
5) If the family is to flourish for multiple generations, the attention to human capital should be as serious as that to financial capital (which means focusing on both maintaining healthy family relationships, and using financial resources to enhance the life experiences and opportunities of each member of the family).
Accordingly, five key lessons for “values transmission” within the family include:
1) Values are caught, not taught (meaning that actions speak louder than words, and the best way for families to communicate values to their children is by living and doing them, not just saying them… although establishing a family mission statement or family values statement may still help the family to at least crystallize its thinking of the values to express in the first place);
2) Values are different from beliefs, preferences, and choices (in essence, “values are the compass that each of us uses to direct our behavior, often unconsciously” and serve as the organizing principles of our lives, such that Christianity or Judaism are preferences or choices while “spirituality” would be the unifying value, or environmental conservation or the arts are preferences while “generosity” is a value);
3) Leading a life that is consistent with your values is the greatest predictor of happiness (as it’s the congruence between life and values that drive happiness and satisfaction, while misalignment between the two leads to frustration and stress, though the demands of growing and maintaining wealth can often challenge affluent families to stay in congruence, and teenagers will have a natural tendency to challenge their parents’ values are part of their own development);
4) Storytelling is a powerful means of sharing values (as telling stories is a way to express your own life’s work, in the context of what’s most important to you, and what your values are); and
5) If the family is to flourish for multiple generations, the attention to human capital should be as serious as that to financial capital (which means focusing on both maintaining healthy family relationships, and using financial resources to enhance the life experiences and opportunities of each member of the family).
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